Wednesday, September 17, 20088:28 PM

All the lies

That random happy feeling died *audience gasp: But it's Tuesday! You're suppose to be happy..?* Right right only on a Tuesday that I can get to see him. Other days can just go *poof* A story with happy ending is a story that hasn't ended, yes? Yea ignore my random quoting and stuff. I'm emoing randomly right now cos it's a Tuesday-without-happiness day. Oh horror. Plus PMS. Plus extreme boredom (when is my anime ever going to get released?). Plus being stuck on budget til gawd knows when (and I still went off to buy a Dorothy Perkins dress - Discount! Comfy! Pretty! Cant help it!!! *sob*). Plus no him for a very very long time. Plus some stuff we can't agree on. Plus my mom back on her "Privacy? What's that?" campaign and start ransacking my stuff. Plus I broke down and there was no one there to pick me up (no one's fault, I lived too far from the nearest source of comfort).

It's never anyone else's fault right? When I'm mad at something, there's always a logical, natural reason given by others on why I shouldn't be mad or why I am actually at fault. Why can't for once, someone just give in to me and see things from MY point of view? I'm so tired of having to use other people's reason to quell my sadness/frustrations. I don't want to be understanding I just want someone to be understanding towards me for once. Can I be selfish just for once? I know it's wrong to try to change a person, but can a compromise ever be reached? Arg. I'm so tired of this. I want to give up, but if I don't get my way on this I'll never be happy. I even feel this way when I'm not emoing...

There are too many smokers on this campus... Everytime I walk to school I increase my chance of contracting lung cancer by 0.05%

Too many foreigners here... I look around and realise I am in a cabin full of foreigners in 3 out of 7 times a week I board the train. Where did all the locals go? Did they all strike lottery and bought cars or something?

Why is everyone so busy and I'm like the only free person in the world or something... I try to be busy, you know, watch anime, surf net, bug people, do work (and puke), draw and stuff... But nothing seems to make me "busy" enough. [edited away the following parts]

I don't know what I want to do now... I mean yea I declared stuff that I'll do and all that, but I feel so lost finding the way to get there. I should be independent and all that. But I still want someone to guide me instead of telling me I'm old enough to be responsible for my own future. Arg. Irritating.

I hate happy-go-lucky people. They just take things as they come, don't bother if anyone is hurting because of them or pretend not to notice, change to a silly happy irritating subject when you try to reason or talk about something serious with them. They just think everything will eventually be ok, without having to do anything. [edited away the following parts] *bats silly happy-go-lucky people* Now I know why Elmo hates me being happy. I'm annoying.

[edited away the following parts]

I'm lonely now. [edited away the following parts] Going out with the guys, we chill, talk about funny interesting stuff etc, then someone spoils the mood by talking about codes (or NS, in recent cases), and *poof* I don't feel like pretending to be interested. Sorry, HRH has short attention span. I go out feeling nice and comfy and happy, suddenly phone interrupts, *poof* no more nice and comfy feeling, but I try to pretend I don't bother about it, and pretend I'm still feeling nice and comfy and happy. But it's all pretend ok. PRETEND. LIES. I hate lying, but I don't want to sour anything.

I'm tired... I just want to be selfish. I don't want to think for anyone now. Maybe even ever.

But on a happy note: Yay OMG Suikoden is going to come out on DS! PSP kiss my ass man. Woot~ Happiness~ Linkie to happie: Suikoden Tierkreis

All works done by Princess Teddy

This is Princess Teddy