Monday, February 11, 20086:20 AM

The sign of things to come

Firstly, I'm gonna complain. Then complain. And complain somemore. There, don't say I didn't warn you.
If you're pro public transport (highly doubt these buggers exist...): Feck off. The trains are so freaking crowded (though not as bad as Japanese trains...), takes too long to get from Khatib to Yio Chu Kang, riddled with Banglas, Cheenas and noisy what-nots. Which leads to another complain of mine.

Who thinks guys here are gentlemanly? *bats those who raised hands* You're prolly a pretty bimbo of some sorts. I mean, I can't imagine a male stranger allowing the ladies (young, old, ugly, pretty, short, tall, skinny, fat) to board the train first, or allow a feeble aunty (as if)/schoolgirl/office lady in heels a seat. Or worse, some (maybe non-local people) turn a blind eye to the Pregnant (heavily or otherwise), or the truly old. And guys, don't you feel ashamed when a young girl in wobbly heels and a heavy bag offers her seat to the well-deserving? Geesh. May you get clogged artilleries from over-sitting...

It's just a weak excuse to say you're rushing for work when you shove everyone aside and plop yourself down to a seat and edging off the people sitting next to you. Go back to the Ice-age bozo. You see that in you? Are this said person every morning? Eh? Anyway, the reason I'm so pissed off was, there's this really innocent girl (not me) that just wants to board the not that crowded Marina-bound train. And most Singaporeans (actually, non-locals too) fail to understand the meaning of "Please stand behind the yellow line" or "Please allow passengers to alight before boarding" that kind of thing. So being the innocent toot that she was, found herself 'cutting' into 'queue' (good Lord, we have to queue to board trains... as with everything else...) of a middle-aged man. And normally, people ignore this, move on, and find a seat or lean against some pole and annoy the person holding it, etc. But this man, indicated with a rough jerk of his thumb and a visibly grouchy face, for her to get behind. Like this was a queue for some million-dollar Toto buying thing (and until now, I never got the idea of buying some numbers, not even tangible, and mostly losing) or something. And I get sick of stupid guys snatching seats that are in front of me, all mine for the taking, and giving me a smug grin. Don't make me slap your face, I so will do that. I'm probably sounding unfair to some guys I know. See? It's the guys that you know that will be gentlemanly towards you. Because they fear you'll go around making potshots of them in front of a potential date. Whereas if you're not a bimbo in skimpy outfit, or some attractive waif, they'll beat the shit out of you for space on trains. Usually if I get seats I'll give whoever that's looking a smug grin of sorts, just to even out the score. Yes I know there are aunties and certain non-locals who snatch/banter/glare for seats and put baggages on seats, or occupy 2 seats, or talk loudly or blast stupid songs, etc, but right now, I'm just pissed off with this. Save those for another day... If I decide to get out again... Which leads me to another train-related complain (I did warn you...)

Why the feck did those train people change the announcement system thingy? Was the previous one not Singapore-flavoured enough that they had to find an Ah Lian who could read to do the announcements now? At least have the decency to ensure the quality of the announcement please? And why does the Chinese version sound like it came from Beijing? You think we were brought up to that kind of accent? Oh wait, it was probably for the benefit of the China-Chinese anyway. Doh. *slaps self on forehead* Anyway, the previous one was inaudible as it was during the tunnel rides already. Low-quality announcements can't be heard AT ALL now. Is the a bid to 'reduce human traffic in the city area' Yea right, so funny, try taking the train yourself and miss a stop, you bloody eejit train-people. Do you know how bloody difficult it is to get off the train and on to the next one in the city area? Fools. I rest my case. It should be obvious enough the intellect of most people here by reading the ads around. All the cheesy rhymes that don't make sense. That's right girl, I live here... Pity I didn't cringe to death...

If you're pro comfy high heel shoes: someone please check you into the loony farm. Where in the freaking helluva world can someone find comfy, non-slip, stable HEELS? Ok, maybe I'm making my life more miserable because there's no such thing as stable Heels. Or even comfy ones for that matter. And if I'm looking at non-slip, I'll prolly be shelling out a bomb for shoes. Which I wouldn't mind if they met the criteria I set above. I wouldn't even mind if they were in the color I hated. I just need shoes... comfy ones. *stares mournfully at squished little toes*Shoes makers (or designers) obviously have no sense. Or maybe there isn't any proper shoe designers dedicated to squarish Asian feet or something. Or maybe their shoes were manufactured in you-know-where (clue: lead poisoning abounds), and the blueprint got cut up and mangled because it didn't fit into their 2 cents a piece budget, or didn't want to pay the designer so they cop-off some pointy toed Jimmy Choo design. And to further streamline everything into their budget, they hardened lard for the soles of shoes, which was why, everytime you walk in them, you slip and fall into an oily, gooey puddy of what remains of your shoe. Ok I digress, but you get the agony of how hard shoe-shopping is for me now don't you? I'm not an Imelda, I don't buy shoes on the fly. I just want a decent shoe I can wear for the rest of my life. There, I never cease to make myself more miserable. A well-meaning friend suggested slippers. Moi? Slippers? I can't even imagine myself in them to begin with. It's always some random (and rare) off-to-the-neighborhood-for-a-meal trip that I bothered with slippers. And I'm a bright lights big city kinda girl, so slippers don't really serve a purpose. As if I go off to the heartlands (wherever it is) and do what heartlanders do (which I have no clue). How demeaning...

If you think fat (think wobbly pale gelatin-like thighs and 'oily' lovehandles) people can pull off the 'shorty-shorts' look (i.e: awfully short pants with pale cellulite-d spotty (or worse hairy) pins, sometimes paired with knee high socks or *gasp* slippers...) and THEN if that wasn't 'liberating' enough, the go on and put on a tight (usually sleeveless) top, with more squishy bits suffocating underneath, sticking out in bits and pieces. Please, look at yourself in a (widescreen) mirror. Oh wait. at least take full body shots of yourself next time instead of your usual, cam-over-head-eyes-woefully-staring-upwards heheX pose. Puh-lease, it's disturbing enough when skinny girls do it. With that, I'm not saying I hate fat people. Again, I just don't wish to get the inevitable fashionista-sore-eyes-syndrome everytime I step out of my house. Maybe that's why online shopping is invented...

Anyway Valentine's is coming.

Well-meaning voice: So what have you this year?
*bats it silly* Nothing, you great big eejit. Pay attention will you? It's probably a myth that some fluttering being called Cupid will poke arrows of love at random people, but if it ever existed, it better not pair me with some random bloke off the street *throws meaningful glares around*. It'll rue the day it was ever conceptionalized.

I'm better off spending the day with many bishounens of Kyou Kara Maou. Why can't they exist in real life too?

All works done by Princess Teddy

This is Princess Teddy