Tuesday, October 23, 20078:06 AM

Beautiful boring day

I was thinking this as I walked back home from Chinese Garden MRT. 'now' refered to the time period then.

The sky was so blue and beautiful, the breeze so cool and delicious on my skin, and Chasing Cars was playing on my mp3. And 5 mins ago, I was sitting on the train, listening to Romancia on the train, thinking the world gave up on me, so I should give up on the world too. And now, I was humming along with Snow Patrols, not a care in the world, only thought in my head was, why is this sky here so beautiful? I guess the only constant thing I loved about this place, was the sky. It's always a clear blue, and speckled with white clouds and it contrasts so nicely against the orange buildings and green trees. It is a rather peaceful blend of nature and buildings... I even took the long way home just so I can look at it. Didn't even mind if it rained. Would it not be nicer to have a light refreshing rain on my skin on a warm breezy day like this? I reluctantly turn in the pathway, for walking straight on would lead me to where I shouldn't be going anyway. Felt like walking to gym in this weather. Should I turn? No, don't have the equips. And if I had, I would have been in school, digesting the delicious Lavender Briyani with idiotic exercises. Well, maybe not. Which is why I never went prepared for embarrassing torture as such. A little kid ran towards me, smiling. I smiled back, and felt good. I haven't smiled this way for a long time. Just so carefree, don't have to think what is the purpose of this smile, don't have to feel afraid of looking ugly with a smile... Such a beautiful day. I wish forever could be like this.

So that I can endure forever...

And then now, when I on my laptop, I just feel so burdened. Like, electricity bills, assignment, website (domain bought, but nothing else done), fashion designs, fashion studies. La Selle portfolio. And confined in this room I just wondered, what happened to my sky? My Beautiful day turned monotonous once again... What was my joy before this? I don't really know... hanging out with friends? Do I have friends anyway, friends that would respond when I say "let's hang out and do nothing for 1 day"... friends that remembers to ask me out for movies and all. Friends that wouldn't cringe when i start crying. Friends that encourage me to sing aloud in the middle of nowhere... I don't... I just realised I don't have friends like Buggy's, or JM's, or Elmo's... Maybe that's why I always feel alone...

Then... when I feel alone... everything bad just comes back to haunt me. Even when I don't want it to. Even when I smiled more than I want to. I want to be happy. And I'm trying. And I was succeeding.

Not gonna let anything stop me from being happy. Nothing can and is suppose to anyway.
あたし　の　青い空　が　永遠に　心に　存在　ですから.

All works done by Princess Teddy

This is Princess Teddy