Wednesday, April 18, 20078:40 AM

Just remembered something Danny 'recommended' us emo kids to watch.
Tickle-me-emo: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4nRNYG_xM2U. I'd rather get a Dollfie...

Uwahahaha I don't know what's happening to me, maybe it's cos I've been playing Romancia none stop since just now. Since SL's done for maintainence, I'll just have me-time. Er, also don't know what to write... Haha... Just like my SL toys don't know what to say...

Looking for Lareine-Romancia's lyrics... kk will make me even more emo. And I don't know what I'm emo-ing about either... Must be this really sad song playing in my brain... *sigh*

When will this project end man? I'm getting attached to the island for goodness sake... Really tires. Almost cant breathe during the meeting when Ms Dio was rambling on about our schedule next week. OMFG. okok I don't usually scold vulgarities, but I think I can't find any other ways to express my stress level right now. zzz...

I also started my own SL-business. But I've no idea why our *put post here* Kian Bee needs to know about it. I mean, I don't know you, and I don't expect you to be my customer in the near future either. And I don't think I'm the only NYP kid that sets up a shop in SL. And I haven't even sold a thing. omg... there I go emo-ing again. Oh well, I'm just glad I'm getting free publicity like that. Tho hardly SL related, but it *might* lead to something... like... I don't know, anything our creative lecturer's came up with.

Started talking to him lately. I don't know why. I just want him to hug me again. I really need a hug but I don't know who to find... I miss his hugs I guess. Haha, nothing more then that. Though it's weird in Singapore for mutual guy-girl friends to give each other comforting hugs. really need one now with a rollercoaster going on in my life.

Don't know what's going on between mom n dad again. They are always at it, it's irritating, and scary. What if mom's serious... and really leaves us? omg omg... no no... I don't wanna think about it. I really don't want dad to drive me to school. I really wanna hug him and tell him I'm grateful... But physical contact with people(even family) is something I'm really not used to unless it's him... omg I almost cried in school cos I suddenly thought about mom and dad.

Shit... I promised to stop being a crybaby dammit.

And then there's this guy I recently know. Keeps bugging me with his not-that-trivial problems. I don't know why people can't take control of their lives and stop taking advises from people like me (who can't take control of their lives in the first place). But anyway, he's not consulting me now, rather he's trying to ask me out. This is flattering, kinda, but... we're worlds apart. Seriously. And, I see nothing in him, i.e, no future with him, no communication, no common interest. But it's so hard for me to say 'No, I don't wanna go out with you'. And like, argh!!! when I'm having sucha crisis I need unrelated people to talk to cos they'll just listen and forget about it. So yea... But still, I'm gonna have to put a foot down and say no. He's really not my type...

And also, I don't what to do after I graduate. My lecturers can dream all they want about our careers paths, and I appreciate what theyy are doing for us, but I've a feeling I'm not going to be a programmer. I'm just going to cry at my desk everyday regretting my choice if I ever do that. But I really don't know what I cant do with my 'too-specialised' diploma... I want to do into Fashion Design. But my parents are gonna object, and they won't be able to afford the fees, especially not with my bros coming out of secondary school. omg why is education so expensive? How are people like us gonna get educated without slogging our butts out? My scholarship prolly didn't get approved. Damn. My dad only earns that much after like, a few years, not every month, you-silly-people-faking-kindness-by-offering-scholarship-while-your-snobbish-eyes are-stuck to-the-ceiling. Ah... manage to get that much out. Gonna immigrate someday. Can't breathe in this fake-creative, fake-freeedom society. Everything's so fake. Everything is so bloody planned out that once you fall out of line, you can't step back in and move forward. Damn this place... I need to step away from the falsities and rethink my path without the hindrance of whether a job I love doing is gonna put food on my family's table. I can't think about myself now. I really can't be selfish and indulge anymore. Somehow, being 18 means I have to wear iron chains. I suddenly feel very tired... I wonder if I can take a long break soon...

Why am I being so emo...? Damn song...
"saino made arenakute iitaikoto mo nanimo iienakute..." - Romancia, Lareine

All works done by Princess Teddy

This is Princess Teddy