Monday, February 05, 200711:17 PM

my heart bleeds peppermint tears


ok i dno wad my title means.. is random.. jus as random as me last n dis sem.. eh.. well, im gonna b yr 3 soon.. gotta brush myself clean, stiff upper lip, n nt cry over small stuff anymore.


seems like small stuff nw, after tinking abt it. no ones gonna c the girl in me, i might as well gif it up n wear pants n my bro's shirt all my life. or i cld starve myself skinny n fit into those super grly stuff ive been meaning to get since... well since long long ago. the latter sounds interesting...


anyway, this mth v unlucky. keep seeing him when i dun want to. I even c his name in Ota sensei 's namelist. doushite??? is like suffering all over again. n i oso dno y i can make him disappear from my heart. We act like strangers nowadays. N he even returned me that wristcuff. Nth btwn us anymore, he doesn't owe me anymore rite? haha.. if ony my heart listens to my brain... zzz i nid other distractions... trying to cloud my brain wid work n my heart wid Donut. Seems to b working.. somehow..


Donut is another issue. I want to tell him i like him. Alot. the way he hunches his back when walking, the way he likes to point his fingers trying to emphasise a point or remembering sth. the way he lames ard in a style only he cld pull off - being cute n innocent at his age. I dno y, he's so pure. I dont wanna taint him. Never going to. yet i feel i cld break if i know he's someone else's jus becos i dont have the courage to tell him. I try to avoid him, to forget him. But i still get pulled to him. I was kinda worried today when he appeared to be choking after eating his chicken rice (see, chicken rice is bad.. tt's y i wun eat it...). But fortunately, i didnt give myself away (i think, cos chiny didnt mention anything).


Speaking of chicken rice.. since im gonna graduate soon, i thought it's time to try the chicken rice stall in FJ as well as the many stall I didn't dare to try, even if it poisons me to death. It's one of the regrets I had graduating, i didn't get a chance to sample all the food in school. there goes my plan to diet to death.


B4 i graduate, im finally tasked with a Sakuran event. I dont know y, everytime ppl ard me are sent to do herculean tasks of organising events i become envious. n nw when it's my turn to do it, im dreading every second that is going to tick by. As it is, im pretty disorganised, hvnt even confirmed event date and the number of participants. And my darling helpers might not make it for the event.. doushiyo!!?!?!?


relly got very worked up these days... esp jus nw, when my adapter was loose and my lappy (Penguin Emperor Julio the VI is the name) switched off. Darn scary...and then ytd, it refused to b turned on... spooky emperor, Julio the VI is... I must relly obey it or I'll die of massive heart failure.


rite.. gloomy tots of me dying one horrible way or another relly makes me sleepy. so use to it nw... But still, I wanna c Uruha-sama, Mivi-chan, and any other pretty boy out there b4 i breathe my last... n if whoever up there allows, i'd like a little more courage (despite wad my dear friends have given.. im still nt that brave) to tell Donut how I feel.

All works done by Princess Teddy

This is Princess Teddy