Tuesday, January 10, 20066:32 PM

Sorry for loving you


Weird huh? I mean, who appologises for loving someone? Love is suppose to be good right? It's suppose to make the other guy feel nice and warm all over or something... And yet, I'm feeling sorry for loving you... Sorry if I ever bothered you with my obsessions about you. Sorry if my incessant messaging makes you wanna crash your com, or throw out your phone everytime it beeps cos of me. Sorry sorry sorry. But I cant promise you I wont bug you again. Cos I dont know if the next time I call on you, I will be ready to tell you what I'm feeling for you. But I bet you already know. I bet you figured out the only logical and possible reason why am I so attached to you is because I like you... Please dont turn away from me... Please dont despise me for my cowardice... I swear one day I'll find the courage, though I pray it wont be too late... When it comes, I'll wait by your door, and even the heaviest storms wont keep me away. I promise. Please wait for me.


Eto...That sounds abit um... overdo, and while writing it, it reminded me of the yaoi fanfics I've been reading. (Yes, I'm reading yaoi, cos some AAA girls aroused my curiousity, and also cos of Lyn-chan's encouragement... fufu...). And because of some yaoi fics of Gazette, I've been drained off my energy due to non-stopping nosebleeds. *bleh* Not to mention some really ero dreams of Aoi, Uruha, etc doing some really ero stuff with their guitars... *drools*


Bwah... I've been contaminated by yaoi hm... and I feel so sleep-deprived nowadays cos I break out in sweat whenever I have those ero dreams... Arg... And I see Aoi doing Uru's 'skanky' dance everytime I close my eyes. Bwah, I'm going mad...(or am I the luckiest girl alive with such hallucinations?) And AOI is MARRIED??? WTF??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *sobcrywailtakesknifeandtrytoslitwrist* and he already has a SON? *chokes on saliva and goes limp* My eyes will definitely be swollen and puffy by tomorrow...


K, back to first para, I was actually writing what I've been feeling this few days, and somehow, the heavyweight on my chest seems miraculously lifted. Shows how much it helps to write a diary/blog/rant. Um.. to who do I feel appologetic to, it's this guy I liked since Day 1 of school (though during that time I was attached =/) Erm, those who hear me whine over this before might know who he is. Dont wish to say it here, cos I'm not ready for him to know it yet...


Note to Lyn-chan: I'm not a lesbian... A 'bi' maybe, but I dont have a crush on Ari-san ="= She's just cute and nice and has a heart-melting smile, that's all. I just fancy that 'Fried Mars Bars Girl' only, not crush. I mean, she looks so cool~! (dont know why am I clarifying this now... but I feel that today is a good time to get stuff off my chest~ ) Er-herm, so, dont bother with this mindless ranting... Hee


Off to hunt for Memoirs of A Geisha novel...

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This is Princess Teddy