When will I ever understand that I dont exactly own anything at all? I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm like hogging on to almost everything I lay my hands on. Gee I hate this. I'm not getting sympathy votes or anything out of this. I'm just putting my thoughts down on my blog (that's what it's for right?), so I dont get muddled up and blame the wrong people for the mess or misunderstandings I caused.
The most obvious Case of Hogs was my over-usage of bLaze-. Ok, so I received a few plvlings from this character, then I used it to do my own leveling, and overtime, I began to assume total ownership of bLaze-. Which didnt seem right, as a friend pointed out, what have I done for it that I deserved to be the co-owner of bLaze-. Bleh. Yea that comment just stabbed through me and I sincerely thank that guy for this wake-up call. and my sole excuse for over-indulging in the fast levelings through bLaze- was this : I needed to level fast. By 30 May, it's goodbye to CO. And I meant it.
So there it was, I was selfish, cos I didnt wanna waste my time leveling a character, who was already reborned, and all it needed was 1 more level to change his robe. Which adds to 50 pct of my leveling. And by the way, I only clock 1 level a day, due to my insufficient stamina to face the compy or my mom's naggings. And how was I going to do that, without the soc rainbow boots (thanks for reminding me again, it isnt mine), or bLaze-? Nevermind that now, all I realised from 2 years of playing CO with friends, is that you just got to rely on yourself. Not your friends, no matter how close they may be. Cos what's going on in reality isnt going to happen in Virtual. And thus saying, I've given up on Virtual, cos I am never meeting those nice online people anyway, and who knows if they are nice or not in real life? And I prefer seeing my friends in real life, instead of Virtually, where they are caught up with their own Virtual social life, that to them, I'm just a stranger.
And then now I'm worried. I became over-possessive over the years, it isnt about losing friends anymore.. I'm afraid I'll treat T-san the same way, like he is my possession and all that, and not give him breathing space... Omgish I hope I'm oversensitive on this notion. Trying so bad not to be demanding etc on anyone now, cos if I do, I'm losing everyone...
It's so typical of Capricornians isnt it? But Capricorns are loners... So I guess I'll manage fine without them... But I'll just miss them bad... Wont be a problem I hope...
I sincerely appologise to the people involved in this whole bLaze-/Blazin saga, and I'll not even bother to level anymore. I now see no reason why I should, cos I no longer like the people I'm seeing in Virtual Land. I prefer to have my friends back, nice and smiling and whiney and all that, then have them political, cold, and distant. I guess not facing the compy will also reduce the headaches I'm having. Ha... Anyway, I'm going to find some stuff to occupy myself, so I'll not incessantly crave levels, or T-san's messages and all that.
Maybe I shld give that shop a call...