Dan said before, a blog has to be personal... So far, I haven't really been personal.. It's jus blabberings of what's going on in my daily life, and not so much as to how I feel each day. I realised how much time I've wasted, repeating the same mistakes again and again, because I didn't give myself time to reflect upon my downfalls...
It's not until today, when Tongy brought up a touchy topic... How I was kind of betrayed by a certain crush a long way back. Til now, I've never forgotten the hurts he caused, and I've never forgiven myself for being so foolish that time. And I still held that glimmer of hope that one day, he'll come back for me. It just dawned on me, I had held myself back from liking anyone properly all this while... Because i never forgot, because I still held grudges...because I don't dare to like anyone again. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I guess I'm kind of selfish... I always think for myself, and I might have hurt some people along the way.
For now, I'm trying to forgive him, and maybe one day, I'll forgive myself. I won't forget, because this is part of my memories.. Part of who I really am. I'll take it in my stride, and some day, I know my story will have a happy ending..
I realised, the more you tried to forget something, it just comes back to haunt you again and again... Tongy, thanks for making me remember this.. hope you're reading...